When Curiosity Strikes

We communicate with people every day… are we listening to understand or merely hearing to respond?

I would argue that hearing and listening are two different processes. When someone simply “hears” you, are they really just thinking about what they are going to say next? When someone is “listening” to you are they contributing to the conversation with both peoples best interest in mind.

Words hold more power than we are aware of. Imagine the first time a person you liked romantically said “I love you,” or the continuous longing for the family member to say “I am proud of you.” These words are important to us and can impact our relationships with others.

I want to give a little lesson on the power of AND. So here is my quick TED Talk (cue the spotlight)… The power of AND focuses on allowing two things to exist at the same time. Here is an example… “I stubbed my toe so bad today, BUT I went to pilates.” “I stubbed my toe so bad today, AND I went to pilates.” This seems simple and maybe odd… however using the word AND instead of BUT actually allowed me to have two different emotions simultaneously by making a small linguistic shift. I can feel hurt and happy in the same day or even the same sentence. We are creating psychological flexibility just by changing the words we use to describe our days and experiences. Using the word BUT can actually decrease our accomplishments at times. Try this… “I did well at work today but I forgot to sweep the floor at the end of my shift.” By using the word BUT in this sentence I actually just decreased the excitement of my successful day and instead focused on the one small mistake I made.

This is a lot easier to explain and point out in real life scenarios (if you know me I can point it out for you if you’d like) and watch how you are describing yourself and your day.

Words hold immense power. They are also something we can control. Try listening to understand what others are saying and point out their accomplishments when you can. You will experience the difference between having a superficial conversation versus one that allows you to feel seen and heard at the same time… crazy!